10 Years Waiting to See Die Krupps and God Was It Worth It

For quite a while now I’ve been getting increasingly into industrial metal and industrial music in general, mainly listening to bands like Grendel, KMFDM, Fear Factory, VNV Nation, bands all of that ilk. But my interest in industrial music started about 10 years ago when, whilst listening to a mix tape my brother had made, I first encountered To the Hilt by Die Krupps. Later I started listening to more of their stuff, including such glorious gems as Fatherland, Metal Machine Music (One of my personal favourites) and Wahre Arbeit Wahrer Lohn. Of course, way back in 2004 they had yet to begin their reunion tours/anniversary tours, and I was to say the least saddened by the thought that I would never have the chance to see these musical artistes live.

Last night, Friday 1^st August, I got the chance to see all of these and more performed at the Talking Heads pub and live music venue in Southampton.

Now when I saw the tickets go on sale a few months ago I thought I was about to have a heart attack. I didn’t even question buying tickets, I just went for them. And boy am I glad I did.

The venue was perfect. The Talking Heads hosts a regular evening called Industrial Fallout, so having these kings of Industrial Metal perform was perfect. The atmosphere was very flowing. Everyone was getting into the groove of things very easily. You could tell that a lot of the people there had been waiting a while to see Die Krupps, or were excited to see them again. The support I have mixed feelings about.

The first support band was Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand (or BeinE, apparently meaning “The thing that is almost the thing you want…but not quite”), a duo of Tiffanie Wells on vocals and synths and Simon John Bowers on keyboards, synths and all other weird techno-wizardry used to make strange sounds. I’ll admit, at first I found them to be musically skilful but lyrically somewhat overdramatic and pretentious, almost having the feel of 16 year-old angst-ridden poetry. Then I tried closing my eyes and listening and found it much easier to get into…but there’s the problem – this is a very cerebral band, one that you listen to when you’re trying to write a piece of work at 3 am and you need something to calm and focus your mind. For me, it doesn’t work as well for a live gig. With that said, plenty of people were getting into it, almost 60’s student commune style, so what do I know? I will say that if I wanted a band to create ambient music for a game or film, I’d definitely ask these guys.

The second band, Dreams Divide, definitely worked better for me. A duo of David Crout on vocals, synths and programming and Gem Davison on vocals and synths. Now these guys have a lot of power and energy that can only come from one place – unadulterated love for their audience and their music, and both having equal importance. David Crout’s voice evokes a feeling of Dave Gahan from Depeche Mode with aspects of Ronan Harris from VNV Nation, but still maintaining a gruff and assertive identity of its own. Gem Davison immediately put me in mind of Anneke Van Giersbergen, but with her own exquisitely discordant feel. Now this could easily be as a consequence of being a live show instead of a recording, but if that is the case, I urge them to maintain this direction with their music because it is so wonderfully enticing and will help greatly set them apart from everyone else.

Their set was very emotionally charged and I have every respect for them for managing to perform because they had been to their friend’s funeral just earlier that day. Because of this they asked us, if we’re with someone we’re close to, to “take them by the hand and tell them you love them, because once they’re gone that’s the end and it’s so very sad”. I can not imagine the sheer strength of will it must have taken to carry on and perform. They are true performers, willing to give it their all, even when they’re feeling absolutely lousy. Dave, Gem, my hat is permanently off to you. You are an inspiration.

Finally, after whetting our appetite so gloriously, they come. Die Krupps come to the stage in a blue-tinted glow of strip-line L.E.D lights and bursting into They opened with the song Ein Blick Zurück im Zorn (a look back in anger).  I made a point of being certain I could see everything up-close and personal, and the darkness of the blue glow combined with my skinniness made this particularly easy. They started the show in a way that I love for bands to do – by playing songs I’d never heard before. As barmy as that may sound, I love to hear either new material or stuff I simply haven’t found the albums for first. It wasn’t until that day I’d even heard one of their most recent songs, Risikofaktor (Risk Factor), from the album The Machinists of Joy, and that heart-pounding explosion of a song was the immediate second to be played.

Now for those of you who don’t know, Die Krupps has been around for quite a while. 30 years to be exact. You’d think once he’s in his 50’s Jürgen Engler, their frontman, would’ve slowed down a bit…has he fuck? The guy was bouncing about and running around like a five year-old on a year’s supply of skittles. His energy really made the music and the crowd come to life. You could see that he was absolutely loving it up there, building up constant interplay with the crowd, hovering the mic stand over us at various points so we could interject on various songs. And my friends, you have not lived until you have heard a glockenspiel solo. Several songs featured this, in particular Der Amboss (The Anvil). I will warn though, brace your ears if you’re at the front. Never has the term “Ear-splitting” been more appropriate. This isn’t your everyday glockenspiel. This is a massive fuck-off hit with steel pipes glockenspiel. I’m likely using the wrong name for it, but I have no idea how to research “instrument made from industrial metal pipes and hit with smaller pipes”. I wish I did ‘cause I want one myself. Whilst I didn’t get to hear all of my favourites (Black Beauty, White Heat would have been a particularly welcome delight), I did get to hear a lot of them, including To the Hilt. Now there were technical difficulties during this song, the microphone’s wire deciding to cut out at odd moments, but Jürgen took it in his stride and encouraged the crowd to fill in the blanks whilst the techies fixed the problem. Again, the definition of a professional. Lesser frontmen would have easily gotten fed up and stormed off. Jürgen simply smiled when he could see that we all knew that we were aliens in our own land. After a very effectively teased encore that got us all pumped up for more, I got two of my absolute favourites (In fact four of my top five got played that night) in the forms of Crossfire, which is such a thundering piece that so perfectly evokes the feeling of absolute chaos and mania that was glorious to see live. And finally it closed with the exquisitely menacing and carefully crafted Bloodsuckers, a song that I swear gets better and better every time I hear it. Just the most perfect of their songs to close on. Still leaves us wanting more, but gives us just enough to keep us fed until next time.

And just when you didn’t think the night could get better, after the show we got to talk to the band in the beer garden. I myself got to speak to Jürgen and Bradley Bills, the drummer, also of tribal-infused apocalyptic drum project Chant fame. Jürgen was greatly pleased when I told him how long I’d been waiting to see them. Brad reaffirmed the feeling I got of how Jürgen has a love for the music and just lives for it. You had no feelings of divas or egos of any kind, you just got to talk to some really cool people who love the fans and live for the music.

If I ever get the chance again I would happily go to see them again. If you ever get the chance, immediately grab a ticket. Hell, grab a dozen, find as many people who are industrial fans as you can and take them along. You will not regret it.

Other Minorities and the LGBT community

Okay, so I found out today that this: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/05/14/michigan-same-sex-marriage-black-ministers/9094721/ is a thing.

*sighs* Okay, where do I begin?

Let's just start off by saying this: If you are classified as a minority, that's it, you're already legless when you try to speak out against any other minority. If you are a black person in any country other than Africa, especially if you're a black person in either the USA or Britain, the last thing you have any right to speak out against is another minority gaining the same privileges you have. It's baffling that such a thing could even occur. Until the late 60's it was illegal in some states for black and white people to marry. That sound familiar at all?

Secondly, if you are a woman, again, you have no right to speak out against other minorities. You yourselves at one point in history and in certain countries today, have been and are regarded as "lesser" or even "sub-human". You weren't allowed to vote, own property, or any of those sorts of things. Do you think we should suddenly go back to those ideologies? Hmm? Didn't think so.

I could go on, but I'll get straight to the point of this - If you belong to some form of minority, be it based on sex, race, creed, sexual orientation, gender identification, having ginger hair, whatever, you should not be rallying against one another. You should be embracing the diversity of one another that you yourselves represent.

And the fact that a straight, white, cisgendered man is having to say all of this, that really speaks volumes.

A Day in the Life of a Park

For my subject I chose to take photographs within a park. I decided upon this subject matter because it seemed like an effective way to emulate the stylings of Henri Cartier-Bresson, whereby I would be taking advantage of the brief seconds to capture events as they happen as opposed to simply expecting to capture photos staged.

The park is a great focal point for relaxation, entertainment and simply a pleasant pathway to walk through or environment to be in as someone goes about their daily business. As such it grants a great opportunity to bear witness to any multitude of things as the day progresses.

Life in the Park Emerges

One Woman and Her Dog

Anything Interesting in the News Today?

A Cyclist's Rest

Home Time at Sunset

Night walking

Documentary and Photojournalism

The following is my piece for my Documentary and Photojournalism module on the Journalism course at the University of Winchester. This short documentary piece will chronicle the experiences of Gibraltar from the viewpoints of my grandfather, Joseph Mills, who grew up there and was evacuated during World War 2 at the age of six; and his daughter, my mother, Sally Scrivens, who visited there with both of my grandparents when she was 19.

It will at times switch back and forth between both subjects during points when it is appropriate to the narrative structure of the piece.

It discusses the emotional ties with the country, how often they have returned, whether they would like to return and asks why they would or wouldn’t want to.

For my grandfather it also discusses what it was like to be evacuated, this experience acting as the key conflict within the piece as, in his words “It was the biggest stab in the back”. It has also acted as a form of impetus for most future events proceeding from that point. Further questions can also be asked for attitudes towards returning had my grandfather not left in the first place.

I trust it to be found informative and entertaining. I certainly enjoyed researching and filming it.

Director’s Statement: - A Father and Daughter’s

Eyes of Gibraltar

Within this piece my intent is to inform, explain and attempt to expound upon the experiences of my mother and grandfather of Gibraltar. I wish to share with everyone some of the knowledge of what it has been like to grow up and then be forced to leave there, or to be introduced to the land that an ex-patriot once called home.

Given the brevity of the piece it will not have too great a level of detail, but it should hopefully give enough information to make people interested enough to potentially ask more and discover the richness of culture that the island possesses.

Depression

Disclaimer: I do not claim to know all the ins and outs of depression, this is merely my personal experience of it, both based on myself and some of my friends. There is plenty I haven't mentioned and I could quite easily go on for longer, but my mind is so addled that this is all that I can presently manage. There are also far more educated detailings on experiences with depression, but I felt it necessary to describe my experiences, if simply as an outlet for what I feel I can't vocalise.

Depression is...

Depression is...

Depression is...

.....

That's the problem, even trying to explain what it is is a task, because everyone experiences it differently, everyone has a different impetus, everyone has different manifestations of it and everyone has different ways of managing to live with it.

That's the key thing: LIVING WITH IT. It is not something that is simply gotten over. Even for those without clinical depression it can take months or even years before they can attempt to classify themselves as "not depressed". Depression is not simply a disease, it is a state of existence. Something which makes every day a struggle. Simply getting out of bed can be one of the most difficult tasks laid ahead of you, and it is your every right to feel a sense of achievement that you actually managed to do so, because you're making progress towards living with it.

So many people don't fully grasp the concept of depression. Some are under the impression that it is something that can be gotten over. They might think that you can continue fighting against something indefinitely, but eventually your last ounce of willpower will shrivel up and die. This is not your fault. It is never your fault. You've tried your damndest to survive and battle onwards, but there's only so much you can do when there is this all-consuming darkness running rampant throughout your mind.

One of the key things that depression does to you is make you feel completely powerless. As I said before, fighting against anything eventually breaks your will and you succumb, but even worse than that is the fact that it requires effort to convince yourself you can even attempt to fight against anything. So many times there will come a moment in which you think "Yes, I'm going to finally stand up for myself and say this!" but then you gradually begin to backpeddle, saying to yourself "Why should I bother? What would be the point in me saying anything? It won't get listened to, and even if it does, it'll be made to sound like my fault". You feel like any efforts made towards improving your life will just be met with derision and subjugation.

In conjunction with a feeling of powerlessness is a reduction in pleasure. The most simple things; your favourite music, your favourite food, everything like that, loses a spark that it once had. Interactions with friends become difficult simply by virtue of wanting to contribute more than you can. Sometimes you'll find yourself switching between the deadest of silences and the most verbose of ramblings because you are so terrified that you'll be caught out that you'll say just about anything. Eventually everything that makes you you becomes a suffocating smog that makes you want to completely reject it all. You'll find yourself saddened simply by the connections you can make between particular songs or meals. You could have loved something from the moment you experienced it, but because of the connections it has, even the mere mention of it makes you feel like you're about to drown.

Sleep can become either unnaturally easy or painfully difficult; you will either be so lacklustre that all you desire is complete oblivion and the easiest, least painful for anyone way of managing that is to not wake up, at least not until most of the day has vanished and so you only have to exist for a brief time. Alternatively your mind is swamped with every thought and reason that you are depressed and thus simply closing your eyes requires the greatest of efforts. You go on walks that are so long you hope you can exhaust yourself, but instead it simply gives you more energy to over-think things and you end up hating yourself even more.

Emotions become a chaotic mess that can not be predicted. In some cases depression governs you completely and the only respite is the occassional good humour to come from a close friend. Alternatively you could be switching between a sea of negative emotions, each set off by the tiniest of things. All it takes is for someone to say something at the wrong time and you end up breaking half your bed room.

And this makes you feel more worthless. You start thinking over things, wondering whether you're truly worth anyone's time if you are so prone to these horrible states. For those who it is brought on by a bad break-up, you don't simply wonder if you're worth another person's time romantically, you wonder if you're worth anyone's time at all. Moments when friends do voice concern and care become so invaluable to you that you become desperate to find a way to properly thank them. Nothing is sufficient for you because to you they have effectively saved your life, even if just for an extra day.

But even for those who it isn't brought on by a break-up, even those who it is chemically caused for, you still feel like you're a waste of everyone's time. Even being in the same room you feel like you're a nuisance and should just flee from everyone's sight. People will try to convince you that you don't need to do this, but it feels more like they do this out of obligation as opposed to genuine opinion or belief. And it doesn't matter how much someone argues the case, it won't change your opinion that you're a worthless waste of space.

The absolute worst thing though, is the boredom that comes with being depressed. You get so painfully sick of constantly feeling depressed that you try to convince yourself that you're okay, that everything's fine and you can manage it. But you can't. You try but it's impossible. You just feel worse because of lying not simply to other people, but most of all to yourself. You start hating yourself for your lack of honesty, which just layers on further depressed feelings, ultimately driving you to a completely unwinnable situation. You get to a stage where in the words of the director Lars Von Trier, "you fall down and you're like a bird with a cat and you say 'Eat me for Christ's Sake'" just wanting it all to be over and done with, but not by your own hand, but by the decision of the universe at large. You're desperate for a release, but for so many it's terrifying the prospect of ending it all. It's why so many with depression come to actually admire those with the will to take it into their own hands and just end it all there and then. We don't see cowardice there, we see a bravery that we wish we could have. As warped as an ideology as that might be, it's the coldest, most clear-cut truth for so many with depression.

For those who wish to see an excellent collection of comics depicting a great many of the effects of depression, here it is: http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/comics-that-capture-the-frustrations-of-depression

An important thing to note: NEVER comment on how depressed someone has been or is. All this will do is to propogate the ideas of worthlessness in the person's mind and make them believe that they deserve to be depressed. My ex used to say this all the time when I would have dark moments and all that did was make me feel worse.

Never look for the specific reason why someone is depressed, just understand that they are and be there for them, because ultimately that is what they desperately need, despite anything they might say. They need a connection with someone they can trust, with someone that they know cares about them and loves them. Whether the love is voiced or simply understood, it is important for them to be aware that there are people around who do.

In closing, depression is all of what I've detailed and far more besides. It is a static existence that anyone with it has to find the will to fight against every day. But for all those who do, I salute you, for you give me the strength to carry on as well.

I truly wish there was more I could say, but there is so much to detail that I couldn't hope to do the subject matter justice.

Follow-Up

In continuation from my previous post I share with you all a petition lobbying the Olympics Committee to condemn Russia's anti-gay laws:

https://www.change.org/petitions/stand-against-russia-s-brutal-crackdown-on-gay-rights-urge-winter-olympics-2014-sponsors-to-condemn-anti-gay-laws

Another one petitioning a general protection of gay rights

https://www.allout.org/fr/actions/russia-attacks-taf

And fortunately this is not going unnoticed on an international scale:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-akprn1/1013533_180761818771304_729340625_n.png

More to follow

The Travesties of Reality

This post will predominantly be posting all manner of links to recent atrocities and a petition that can be signed against one of them that have happened over the recent months and years in both Greece and Russia.

To begin with I am going to share the petition link as it is the most immediately accessible thing that we can currently do something against:

http://act.watchdog.net/petitions/3322?share_ref=IUyNy_Ox9-8

Following are articles covering the most recent crimes against humanity that Russia and Greece have enacted upon:

http://www.queerty.com/russian-skinheads-using-social-media-to-lure-kidnap-and-publicly-torture-gay-teens-20130726/

https://www.amnesty.org/en/news/scores-musicians-urge-russia-release-pussy-riot-2013-07-22

 http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/lgbt-campaigners-boycott-vodka-in-protest-at-russian-gay-rights-abuses--even-though-their-main-target-isnt-made-in-russia-8734981.html

http://en.rian.ru/russia/20130724/182399366/6-Gay-Rights-Activists-Briefly-Detained-Over-Rally-in-Moscow.html

http://en.rian.ru/russia/20130723/182385163/Russia-Issues-Travel-Ban-for-Dutch-Gay-Propaganda-Suspects.html

http://en.rian.ru/russia/20130723/182370139/US-City-Mulls-Breaking-Up-with-Russian-Sister-City-Over-Anti-Gay-Law.html

http://www.globaldetentionproject.org/countries/europe/greece/introduction.html

Now admittedly these are just limited to LGBT issues, but I will be following up on these matters and discussing them as they come. And one specifically for England, behold the desperate attempts of a despotic leader to further place a stranglehold upon us:

https://www.openrightsgroup.org/blog/2013/sleepwalking-into-censorship

Undoubtedly a lot of you will not have heard about this, so you're welcome for the information.

This is Edmund Scrivens signing off.